RELATIONSHIP CHANGES

For those who do not know, Ryan and I have been together for 10.5 years. We are high school sweethearts that beat the odds! Proved everyone wrong who said we would never work out simply due to the fact that we were together so young (16 and 15 years old to be exact). We have been through it all. Through many ups and downs, good times and not so good times, we always knew how to bounce back. 

I believe the main reason we have been able to thrive this long is honestly due to us being high school sweethearts! Sounds funny but hear me out. Think back to when you were 15 years old...how you acted with your crush. The butterflies, flirting, hand holding, the saying "I love you" 1000 times a day. Ryan and I were like that in high school. Even got in trouble for PDA at school a couple times. Whoops! You know what has changed? NOTHING. We did not let college, work, or marriage change anything. We are still "dating". Ryan still holds my hand every time in the car, and we still say I love you after every phone call. It's the little things that keep us feeling young, reminding us why we fell in love in the first place. Even through the hardest times in our relationship we relied on this to get us through, and it worked! However, nothing could have prepared us for marriage AND parenthood! 

Read my previous post on what happens when you have a baby. In summary, you are sleep deprived, hormonal, and in mama bear mode. When Connor was born, all I could think about was how exhausted I was. Ryan was SO helpful and supportive during those times. He was putting all of his energy towards me and I was putting my energy towards Connor. Recipe for disaster! Thank goodness I have the greatest husband in the world who was patient and understanding while I was adjusting as a new mother.

Now that it has been 10 months and we have our routine, we are back to "dating" again. I'm not going to lie, it's tough! With our hands full of baby stuff, it's hard to hold hands. With us constantly trying to entertain Connor, our eyes are on him and not each other. I think it's completely normal for relationships to go through an adjustment period! I mean, we went from binge watching our shows on Netflix all day to being 3 weeks behind on our favorite tv shows! 

Both Ryan and I grew up with divorced parents. It still affects us. It was horrible. I think our intense fear of doing the same to Connor pushes us to be better parents and spouses. We expect there to be tough times and we also know there will be great times! 

What I am saying is, marriage is hard work! We are not close to being perfect but my advice to new parents is to take care of your marriage first. Once you're past all of the chaos, get back to your roots. See past the craziness parenthood brings and support, love and date your partner. You have to ride the lovely roller coaster of life/marriage/parenthood together. And boy, it has been a crazy ride! But I wouldn't change it for anything!